6/2/10

Friday Finger Food

We are stoked to have a guy who has REALLY LIVED IT on board with DS - Fingers! Every Friday Fingers is gonna share some of his greatest hits with us.......... a chance to look inside the life that we all dream of in one way or another...... We are proud to have him on board and I am proud to call him a FRIEND..... Fingers is a true ruler!

Here's the first installment straight from the horse's mouth.....

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Hey all you wierdos, freaks and lurkers, my name is Fingers.

It's kinda strange but I hope you dig a look into my life...

These are true episodes from the life of a true white trash, scooter tramp American hero. I was born under a bad sign. I suffer from redheaded-retard disease. I've been riding a chopped rigids for 34 years and haven't missed a beat - even when i was down.

I guess the best place to start is with the most popular question - "So what about the name?" Haha...

This is a good one - but not for the weak hearted. I earned that name in 1979. Me and my bro Lumpy are drinking cheap - iced tea and vodka and feeling no pain. When in strolls Tony Balonge's ass - all 325 lbs. of him. He's looking for Lumpy and he's pissed. Lumpy burned him on a bag of weed and a lid. So they start to argue and push each other. I could see that Lumpy had his hands full. Tony starts beating on Lumpy. He's on the ground and TBA (Tony) starts to put the boots to him. Well i'd seen enough- I smash Tony in the head all 135 lbs of me. He turns an says "stay the fuck out of it." I tell him that I can't do that and that if he keeps going that I'm gonna cut his finger off. He kept coming. I pulled my buck and lopped his left index finger off clean. I personally never saw 325 lbs. move so fast in my young 2o years. Blood flying everywhere, bar tender screaming and Lumpy he's laughing 'cus TBA is now in hot pursuit of yours truly. I hit the door at full speed and never looked back. I hear him coming after me like freight train on meth. I run around cars in the parking lot till he tired. He's mumbling something about - oh yeah he's going to kill me. Lumpy comes out an gets Tony. After a few minutes they go back in the bar to find his finger. I split. The man rolls in and an ambulance comes. It ends up that they can't reattach his finger - oops. The news headline reads "Eastside Man Loses Finger in Bar Fracas." Tony calls me and says "fucking fingers - I can't believe you cut my finger off." "I told you I was going to" I answered. From then on I've been known as Fingers.

Tony, Lumpy and I are still friends to this day.

All my life I've done what I said I was going to do. Well, bang it into second till next week.


Fingers
"my lifestyle is my deathstyle"


2 comments:

VANDER said...

best human going......

TwistyMcFisty said...

Hell yeah...righteous shit right there...definately be tuning into this one.